Confessions of a Romantic

2009 Books Read

2009-12-23T00:17:00.000-08:00

So, admittedly, I am no the world's best blogger. Nor did the idea behind this blog really resemble anything sustainable enough for my overly academic/ workaholic life. Nonetheless, I do find myself reflecting back on the last year, everything that has happened (or not happened) since I wrote these few blogs over the holidays last year.

At this time every year I also like to look back at all the books I have read. This has become particularly easy thanks to one of my favourite websites- goodreads.com. While many of these books fall into the romance novel/ chick lit genres (I am, admittedly, a romantic, despite outward appearances), I think that my reading has grown significantly over the past year. I have read a few books which would be considered modern classics, and a few good non-fiction books as well. Recently I have begun re-reading some of my childhood favourites as well.

So here's the list, in chronological order beginning last January:

1. A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams

2. Golden Arches East by James L. Watson

3. Reinventing Mona by Jennifer Colburn

4. Sweet Spot by Susan Mallory

5. The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan

6. Simply Scandalous by Carly Philips

7. Girls' Poker Night by Jill A. Dais

8. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

9. World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy Breed Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability by Amy Chua

10. Salt a World History by Mark Kurlansky

11. A Little Less Talk and a Lot More Action by Luann McLane

12. In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan

13. Bedtime for Bonsai by Elaine Fox

14. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

15. Just one of the Guys by Kristan Higgins

16. Feet First by Leeanne Banks

17. High Stakes by Erin McCarthy

18. Let Me In by Donna Kauffman

19. The Rocky Road to Romance by Janet Evanovich

20. Fools Rush In by Kristan Higgins

21. Catch of the Day by Kristan Higgins

22. Bad Girls Don't by Cathie Linz

23. The Girls' Global Guide to Guys by Theresa Alan

24. Sweet Talk by Susan Mallory

25. Sweet Trouble by Susan Mallory

26. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

27. Flirting With Temptation by Kelly St. John

28. Q & A/ Slumdog Millionaire by Vikas Swarup

29. Unravel Me by Christie Ridgway

30. Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella

31. Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris

32. Atonement by Ian McEwan

33. One for the Money by Janet Evanovich

34. How to Knit a Wild Bikini by Christie Ridgway

35. The Davinci Code by Dan Brown

36. The Gatecrasher by Madeleine Wickham

37. The Great Scot by Donna Kaufmas

38. Too Good to be True by Kristan Higgins

39. Living Dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris

40. Two for the Dough by Janet Evanovich

41. A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray

42. Three to Get Deadly by Janet Evanovich

43. Love Overboard by Janet Evanovich

44. Four to Score by Janet Evanovich

45. High Five by Janet Evanovich

46. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown

47. Hot Six by Janet Evanovich

48. Nicola and the Viscout by Meg Cabot

49. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button by F. Scott Fitzgerald

50. Fallen Skies by Philippa Gregory

51. The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman

52. Visions of Sugar Plus by Janet Evanovich

53. Little Lord Fauntleroy by Francess Hodgson Burnett

54. Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCaffertty

55. The Great Gatsby

56. The Railway Children by E. Nesbit

57. The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Banks

58. Seven Up by Janet Evanovich

59. Hard Eight by Janet Evanovich

60. He's No Prince Charming by LuAnn McLane

61. Passchendaele by Paul Gross

Love to all.

Online Dating?

2009-01-10T22:34:00.000-08:00

For the past few days I have had this lingering nervous feeling that I will die alone, never having fallen in love. I know this is stupid, I'm not old enough to even be thinking this, but now that I am back at school and falling into my old routines of classes-library-work-home, I am finding that once again I am providing my self with no opportunity to meet anyone new. I think that the is the reason that for the first time ever I responded to a classified ad on Craigslist

I am somewhat ashamed to admit this, as I am of the mind that if a guy resorts to advertising himself online in hopes of finding love that there must be something wrong with him. But, at the same time the guys that I have met lately (and the one's that I already know) are not exactly Romeos. So, after creating a fake email account especially for the purpose of luring this random guy looking for a local, tall, country music loving girl I did something I have never done before, whether online or in person, put myself out there for a guy. Here's hoping that he emails me back and is actually a real (good) person:)

On the off chance that anyone out there is reading this, have you ever had much luck meeting someone through either a classifieds page or a dating website?

Thanks for reading:)

Shiny New Crushes

2009-01-02T23:46:00.000-08:00

I can be a shallow person, I know that I can be. Whether it is in terms of physical appearances, disliking someone if they are not immediately super friendly or as was the case today, being overly excited over the acquisition of material goods.

I was in desperate need of a new school/ work/ gym bag, and being the yuppie that I am I splurged (for me, I AM on a student's budget after all) and bought a new Lululemon gym bag. Whether you like them or not, the Lululemon bags tend to be one of the few semi-stylish bags out there that can fit a lap top, text books and whatever else I might need for my 12-16 hour long days. While I know that its shallow, I am super excited that I finally got a new bag and in a way its lifted me out of the foul mood that I have been in the past few days. I know that I do not need new things to make me happy, and generally I do not, but on the rare occasion that I do splurge and by myself something nice, it makes me happy. Its just the excitement of something new.

It is the same sort of excitment I feel when faced with a new crush, or upon a crush displaying just a little bit of interest in me, like complimenting my hair, or saying that I am smart. Even though the relationship rarely goes anywhere, for a few hours/ days I feel like something great has just happened, even though nothing spectacular has occured. Its the same with a new possession (a bag for example). For the first few days every time I think about the new bag (crush) I get a little rush of happiness, and the rest of the time I am left with the general felling that life is good. However, after a few days, once I have used the new bag a couple of times and realized that it cannot in fact hold a laptop, ten books (8 for school, 2 for lesiure-which I never actually have a chance to read), a bagged lunch and snacks, cosmetics and a change of clothes in case I make it to the gym, the newness starts to wear off. The same goes for guys. I tend to think that all guys are great as long as they are:

A. Taller than me
B. Somewhat Ambitious

however, once I get to know the guy better I realize that he either:

A. Has a girlfriend/ is actually gay
B. Is a complete womanizer- and I like one woman men
C. Bad mouths people behind their backs
D. Is to easily scared off by my interest (obsession) with hockey and international politics, or simply in that I am too outgoing.

either way, once that intial newness is gone, and reality has set in, life kind of goes back to normal and unfortunately that feeling of silly happiness is gone, only to return when I find a new crush (which rarely takes long) or when my hockey team makes an amazing trade.

Here's hoping that I am not the only one who feels this way,
a Romantic.

PS- one of these days I'm going to make "My Ideal Man" and "What I am Looking For" lists, which are by no means the same thing. I'm just waiting until I feel that I have the time.

Also note- Dierks Bentley is by no means a new crush, he's an ongoing celebrity crush, I just love the picture.

NYE 2009 ~ New Year's Resolutions

2008-12-31T19:35:00.000-08:00

So, once again its New Year's Eve, and as per tradition I am stuck at my parent's house, home alone, listening to the Calgary-Edmonton hockey game. Now, after years of this tradition, I have almost come to terms with it. Every year I say that I want to head home on the 29th or 30th and spend NYE with my friends, since we clearly don't consider it to be a family holiday, and every year I get talked into staying longer and end up miserable. After choosing to turn down invitation to a party hosted by a high school friend, and attended by people I haven't had anything in common with since I was 16 (although I remained friends with them longer, just to avoid the loner scenario) I find myself stuck at home. To make matters worse I have had to turn down a multitude of various invitations from friends back home. Between the clubs, board games nights and various other house parties I find myself thinking that the party I would like to be most is a stereotypical college-student toga party. The attention whore in me like nothing better than being one of the few girls among a group of mostly guys. And what better night than New Year's Eve. I'd be guaranteed at least one kiss at midnight, although I might get trampled in the process. However, does it all really matter without that special someone? (Yes, I know, its a little sappy.) Especially when that special someone is totally oblivious to the fact that you are into him.

That annoying introduction aside, here are, for better of for worse, my (romantic) New Year's Resolutions:

1. STOP CHASING UNAVAILABLE GUYS- this includes the ones that are not into me, or who are too oblivious to know that I am into them. This also includes those random hotties at bars whose names I don't know/ won't remember and don't care to know. They aren't worth it. And while making out with a guy on the dance floor is fun in the moment, the next morning it just seems trashy. Either way I never make me feel b

etter about myself. Most importantly, this includes a certain someone I have been crushing on forever, and who remains almost willingly oblivious to my somewhat subtle advances, and who never provides me with an opportunity for a not-so-subtle advance.

2. BE MORE OPEN- I have a tendency to fall for shy guys, the ones who will never make a move themselves, and never seem to attract the more out going guys, because I tend to be romantically reserved (although overly outgoing in

all other aspects of my life). This never works for me though, because I am a romantic. I like being asked out by a guy because it always makes me feel special. However, the guys I fall for are always not first move type guys, so I seem to be stuck in this perpetual waiting game, which never gets me anywhere. Thus, we I meet attractive, outgoing guys, I resolve to be more open with them, showing that I am interested.

3. BE MORE PRODUCTIVE, WASTE LESS

TIME- as a full-time student, who also works 24 hours a week, I find myself with very little free time to build and maintain a social life, romantic or otherwise. This situation is not helped by the amount of time I waste on Facebook. Thus, by resolving to waste less time, I hopefully will be able to say "yes" more often, to friends as well as guys. In my experience nothing turns a guy off more than being perpetually unavailable (they seem to taking it personally, and don't really seem to believe that the only time you are actually available this week is sometime after 10pm on Tuesday night).

4. FIND A GOOD GUY- An often distant (but still good) friend of mine made a pact at the beginning of last semester that we would both find nice guys by the end of the semester. I don't know how her last month of school went, b

ut I definitely know that I failed in this task. Honestly, I don't expect a lot. Just a no-pressure, exclusive, friends with benefits type relationship where I am treated to the occasional romantic dinner, or romantic surprise (I cannot remember the last time a guy bought me flowers) with a guy who will eat all the cookies I bake instead of studying, who will hang out with me at the libraries late and then come home to give amazing back massages to undue the damage from my heavy backpack and who maybe wants to get married one day...... Okay, maybe I am looking for more than I would like to admit, but still.

If anyone out there happens to be reading this, I w

ant to know, what are your New Year's Resolutions, romantic or otherwise. Preferably attainable, but they don't have to be. I would love to hear from you.

Happy New Year,

A Romantic.

Welcome

2008-12-27T00:06:00.000-08:00

Tonight, as I was watching what is quickly becoming my favourite romantic Christmas movie- The Holiday, I got to thinking about just how much of a hopeless romantic I am. On the outside I am a twenty-something student, a single female attending a good university, a borderline workaholic, a crazy sports fan and a slightly high maintence version of one of the guys. I have spent a good chunk of my life crafting this image, and while it is certainly a part of who I am, it isn't everything. On the inside I have a soft spot for romantic comedies, chick-lit and romance novels, and country love songs. I believe in fate or destiny, read my love horoscope every weekend and would like to believe in love at first sight (although I have to see it to believe it). I believe that things that are meant to be happen, that nothing is coincidental.

Like many girls my age more so than any thing else, I want to fall hopelessly in love. I'll admit, while a cliche, there is a certain universality to this belief. In my experience a large majority of people spend a great deal of their time fantasizing about "the one", be it in romantic or strictly sexual terms. While some may argue that these romantic and sexual relations are inherently different, I beg to differ. In terms of an idyllic sexual fantasy, there is a sense of romance. In picturing his or her sexual fantasy, the fantasizer is imagining a significant portion of his or her romantic relationship. Whether it is a rose petals and candles or bdsm or somewhere in between that one sees as part of an ideal sexual relationship, it plays into the idea of what that individual's perfect romance is (and this is defined differently for most people). Admittedly sex does not define a romantic relationship, but in our world today it undoubtedly plays a significant role.

Returning to the topic at hand, the purpose of this blog will largely be personal. Often I find myself discouraged about and cynical in regards to love. Much of the time love seems to be too much work, too many games and too difficult to attain in comparison to many of my life goals. I am an attractive (although maybe not beautiful), intelligent young woman who has been raised to put academic and professional success above love. Yet, through it all I am still drawn to my idea of the perfect romance, and the ideal man (as I will discuss in a later post) and will settle for not much less.

Maybe it is my discrimination that sets me apart from others my age, or maybe my underlying idealism about romance and love is a part of who we are as (modern) humans, I'm not sure. All I know is that I am a helpless romantic in what I am quickly learning is an un- (or even anti-) romantic world.

While this blog is largely for personal reasons, I would love to hear from you. What is your romantic fantasy? What do you believe defines romance? Are you a cynic who does not believe in love? Let me know. I would love to see who is reading.