NYE 2009 ~ New Year's Resolutions

So, once again its New Year's Eve, and as per tradition I am stuck at my parent's house, home alone, listening to the Calgary-Edmonton hockey game. Now, after years of this tradition, I have almost come to terms with it. Every year I say that I want to head home on the 29th or 30th and spend NYE with my friends, since we clearly don't consider it to be a family holiday, and every year I get talked into staying longer and end up miserable. After choosing to turn down invitation to a party hosted by a high school friend, and attended by people I haven't had anything in common with since I was 16 (although I remained friends with them longer, just to avoid the loner scenario) I find myself stuck at home. To make matters worse I have had to turn down a multitude of various invitations from friends back home. Between the clubs, board games nights and various other house parties I find myself thinking that the party I would like to be most is a stereotypical college-student toga party. The attention whore in me like nothing better than being one of the few girls among a group of mostly guys. And what better night than New Year's Eve. I'd be guaranteed at least one kiss at midnight, although I might get trampled in the process. However, does it all really matter without that special someone? (Yes, I know, its a little sappy.) Especially when that special someone is totally oblivious to the fact that you are into him. 

That annoying introduction aside, here are, for better of for worse, my (romantic) New Year's Resolutions: 

1. STOP CHASING UNAVAILABLE GUYS- this includes the ones  that are not into me, or who are too oblivious to know that I am into them. This also includes those random hotties at bars whose names I don't know/ won't remember and don't care to know. They aren't worth it. And while making out with a guy on the dance floor is fun in the moment, the next morning it just seems trashy. Either way I never make me feel b

etter about myself. Most importantly, this includes a certain someone I have been crushing on forever, and who remains almost willingly oblivious to my somewhat subtle advances, and who never provides me with an opportunity for a not-so-subtle advance. 

2. BE MORE OPEN- I have a tendency to fall for shy guys, the ones who will never make a move themselves, and never seem to attract the more out going guys, because I tend to be romantically reserved (although overly outgoing in

 all other aspects of my life). This never works for me though, because I am a romantic. I like being asked out by a guy because it always makes me feel special. However, the guys I fall for are always not first move type guys, so I seem to be stuck in this perpetual waiting game, which never gets me anywhere. Thus, we I meet attractive, outgoing guys, I resolve to be more open with them, showing that I am interested. 

3. BE MORE PRODUCTIVE, WASTE LESS

 TIME- as a full-time student, who also works 24 hours a week, I find myself with very little free time to build and maintain a social life, romantic or otherwise. This situation is not helped by the amount of time I waste on Facebook. Thus, by resolving to waste less time, I hopefully will be able to say "yes" more often, to friends as well as guys. In my experience nothing turns a guy off more than being perpetually unavailable (they seem to taking it personally, and don't really seem to believe that the only time you are actually available this week is sometime after 10pm on Tuesday night).

4. FIND A GOOD GUY- An often distant (but still good) friend of mine made a pact at the beginning of last semester that we would both find nice guys by the end of the semester. I don't know how her last month of school went, b

ut I definitely know that I failed in this task. Honestly, I don't expect a lot. Just a no-pressure, exclusive, friends with benefits type relationship where I am treated to the occasional romantic dinner, or romantic surprise (I cannot remember the last time a guy bought me flowers) with a guy who will eat all the cookies I bake instead of studying, who will hang out with me at the libraries late and then come home to give amazing back massages to undue the damage from my heavy backpack and who maybe wants to get married one day...... Okay, maybe I am looking for more than I would like to admit, but still. 

If anyone out there happens to be reading this, I w

ant to know, what are your New Year's Resolutions, romantic or otherwise. Preferably attainable, but they don't have to be. I would love to hear from you. 

Happy New Year, 

A Romantic. 

Welcome

Tonight, as I was watching what is quickly becoming my favourite romantic Christmas movie- The Holiday, I got to thinking about just how much of a hopeless romantic I am. On the outside I am a twenty-something student, a single female attending a good university, a borderline workaholic, a crazy sports fan and a slightly high maintence version of one of the guys. I have spent a good chunk of my life crafting this image, and while it is certainly a part of who I am, it isn't everything. On the inside I have a soft spot for romantic comedies, chick-lit and romance novels, and country love songs. I believe in fate or destiny, read my love horoscope every weekend and would like to believe in love at first sight (although I have to see it to believe it). I believe that things that are meant to be happen, that nothing is coincidental.

Like many girls my age more so than any thing else, I want to fall hopelessly in love. I'll admit, while a cliche, there is a certain universality to this belief. In my experience a large majority of people spend a great deal of their time fantasizing about "the one", be it in romantic or strictly sexual terms. While some may argue that these romantic and sexual relations are inherently different, I beg to differ. In terms of an idyllic sexual fantasy, there is a sense of romance. In picturing his or her sexual fantasy, the fantasizer is imagining a significant portion of his or her romantic relationship. Whether it is a rose petals and candles or bdsm or somewhere in between that one sees as part of an ideal sexual relationship, it plays into the idea of what that individual's perfect romance is (and this is defined differently for most people). Admittedly sex does not define a romantic relationship, but in our world today it undoubtedly plays a significant role.

Returning to the topic at hand, the purpose of this blog will largely be personal. Often I find myself discouraged about and cynical in regards to love. Much of the time love seems to be too much work, too many games and too difficult to attain in comparison to many of my life goals. I am an attractive (although maybe not beautiful), intelligent young woman who has been raised to put academic and professional success above love. Yet, through it all I am still drawn to my idea of the perfect romance, and the ideal man (as I will discuss in a later post) and will settle for not much less.

Maybe it is my discrimination that sets me apart from others my age, or maybe my underlying idealism about romance and love is a part of who we are as (modern) humans, I'm not sure. All I know is that I am a helpless romantic in what I am quickly learning is an un- (or even anti-) romantic world.

While this blog is largely for personal reasons, I would love to hear from you. What is your romantic fantasy? What do you believe defines romance? Are you a cynic who does not believe in love? Let me know. I would love to see who is reading.